TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOVE HIM
			Pops Defante March 29, 1947 - May 18, 2007
			Your time is the most precious gift you can give to another. You can get more of everything else; money, a bigger house, another car, or a 2nd vacation. You can choose to use your time to obtain all these things. Time is different. You cannot 'save it' for later…“I'll save some time for that project and do it next week”. We're given 24 hours each day and at the end of the day all 'unused' time is forever lost to you and perhaps a wonderful opportunity is missed. Like being with a dear friend in his last hour…so he won't have to die alone. Eustacio “Pops” Defante understood and embraced this concept. You know better than anyone how generous Pops was with his time, how freely and willing he gave his time to others. Chola told me a story after the prayer meeting last night. Pops' work career began with an interview for a job where he told the company owner, “Let me work here, free of charge, for 2 weeks and if you don't like me by then, I'll leave”. Do you really think it took them 2 weeks to like Pops? When I met Pops for the first time almost nine years ago, I liked him right after the handshake. I had no idea how much I would come to love him in the years ahead. Pops had a successful 26 year career with that company. He was loved, admired, and respected by those who worked with him. That doesn't surprise me. Pops and Chola began their dance 'journey' December 1998. They took both private and group lessons at the local dance studio. He was very upbeat during the group classes, drawing others to himself like a magnet. He made these classes more enjoyable with his enthusiasm, his antics, his singing…It was impossible to be 'down' when you were around Pops. You have to appreciate that the dance studios back then were pretty conservative. This made his 'style' even more exciting. When the teacher would give Pops that 'calm down look', I would encourage him even more. Eventually the teacher would separate us. However, we still made eye contact, so I would gesture to encourage him...he couldn't be stopped, like the energizer bunny. His positive energy was so contagious and his concern for others made you instantly like him. It wasn't long before a regular group got together 4 or more nights every week for the classes and general dancing. Evenings were often followed up by going out for coffee or additional dancing after the studio closed. This tradition continued for years and still exists today 8+ years later. It is on the weekends that Pops' true sense of humor would take over. While you were dancing he would fasten the belt on your coat so that it was tied to your chair. Even though it may be 1 or 2 hours before you would leave and discover the prank, Pops would jump with glee every time he passed your chair. He relished the thought of seeing your reaction and making you laugh. He reminded me of a little boy on Christmas Eve, waiting for Santa Claus. Pops loved to make others laugh. Once during a conversation, a new dancer asked us “how long have you been dancing?” I looked at Pops to answer, he replied, “I started at the turn of the century”. I could see her doing the mental calculation…wow, that's like 100 years? When he wasn't dancing, he would be practicing his 'steps'. He would deliberately watch his feet and move them precisely to the correct locations. He stepped slowly, methodically, getting the pattern just right. He also moved the arms to perfectly coordinate with the feet. He had to get that arm styling and footwork just right. Then there was that Latin motion thing. His 'hip' shaking was legendary and made you laugh. There he was doing his thing, looking like a cross between Fred Astaire, Bruce Lee, and Mohammed Ali. He had a true sense of humor…the ability to laugh at himself. When he observed us watching, he would break out that giant smile and start going all Kung Fu on us. If Pops caught you sleeping during the evening, he would toss popcorn in your direction. When you woke up he would say, “this isn't a hotel…you can't sleep here”. “Pops also had a very caring and sensitive side. He could tell if you were having a bad day. In those cases, he would sing to you during the dance.” He made you feel special. “If you were new in the group and Pops saw that “deer in the headlight” look on your face, he would immediately ask you to dance. After a few seconds your look turned into a big smile that lasted the rest of the dance”. Pops loves making people smile, he makes it clear that he truly enjoys dancing with you”. When you smile back at him, it's like pouring gasoline on a fire. Our friendship was so solid it still lasts today, nearly 9 years later and includes many diverse activities. Dancing however is still the favorite. Friday May 18th 2007 Pops was eagerly looking forward to his eminent retirement. We discussed retirement options, but none of these excited him and he said he would pass on those. He said to me “…nice of you to do this but I'll make a confession to you and please do not laugh. It has been my dream to be in the market environment and learn all I can for a long time. I am a true believer of the market and hope it works for me as it works for you. Even if it goes against me, I can say to myself I tried because the worst thing I can do is to do nothing and that I cannot accept.” We began his training immediately…he was eager and able to learn everything suggested to him. It was like pouring water on a 'dry sponge', he just soaked it up. He spent much of his free time in this endeavor, researching, reading and learning. When Pops completed an assignment that included lots of reading and learning, he would check in and say “…this is GREAT professor. “ Friday night a group of us met at a club for our weekly R&R. The band was not playing, giving all of us an opportunity for conversation. It didn't take long before Pops started discussing the stock market and sharing what he learned that day. The conversation lasted almost 45 minutes, but it seemed like it had only just begun. The band interrupted us with one of Pops' favorite dances. He liked all the dances, but the swing was one of his favorites, so his 'happy feet' just had to dance. After the dance he came back to his seat directly next to me. As he passed behind my chair, I felt that little 'drum roll' thing he would do on your shoulders. He sat down…that big smile of his clearly showed how much he enjoyed the dance. Less than 2 minutes later, Pops appeared to be sleeping in his chair. He often did this with his arms across his chest and his head resting on the chair back. When we tried to 'wake' him, it was clear he wasn't sleeping. “911” was immediately called. Pops had no pulse and was not breathing. CPR began immediately and was kept up until EMS arrived a few minutes later. From the time Pops finished his last dance until CPR was started, was less than 3 minutes. Pops was only inches away from 2 of his 'amigos' and he never reached out for help nor made any sounds or gestures. His death was quick and pain free. He died doing what he loves the most…dancing and 'giving' his time to his friends. Pops was an integral hub in our dance community, he was like family. He was family. There is synergy in this community. Think of 1+ 1=3. To say Pops will be missed just doesn't say enough, it is a huge understatement. We love you so much Pops, Vaya con dios mi amigo. (The following email arrived as I was leaving for the funeral services, so I read it aloud) “It is shocking to know Pops has gone, it is our big loss. His smile and the passion toward dancing are so unforgettable. Always polite and pleasant, he was a gem on the floor. He was so gentle and considerate; it was a joy to dance with him during the mixer. He loved to sing during dancing, that was such an asset to all of us!! ABC's floor will not be the same without him. I shall miss him---” Julie Ho Here are some comments from those who knew Pops. “…he was a special person…you just can't frown when you are around Pops, if you were sad or had a frown on your face he would always do something to make you laugh…he just had a way of cheering people up…That is a rare gift and I'm grateful I got to meet him…I will always remember him.” June D. “…Pops was a great dancer and had a wonderful personality, he always made me smile…We will all miss you immensely.” Jessica T. “…one thing that stands out in my mind about Pops is how caring he was…he started singing while we danced…he just had something about him that made me at ease with him…I can think of many special moments with Pops…as many as the stars that are in heaven…” Chris B. “Pops was the happiest, up-beat guy you ever wanted to meet. He truly knew how to enjoy life and did not take anything too seriously, which is a quality that I most admired in him…I would like to be the same way…He ALWAYS made me laugh, always!…I used to tell Pops, "You just crack me up!…Your enthusiasm about dancing and your humor always brightened my day and brought such an energy into the ballroom! I will miss your dances, your smiling face, and most importantly, your positive attitude!” Deb G. “…Pops was such a vibrant and happy person, and was always fun to dance with…May his memory be cherished in your heart forever... God Bless, Marilyn J. “Although I only met him and his wife once, they struck me as nice and loving people…” Karen C. "There's no comparison to the sadness I feel of the passing of a great friend...but all of my fond memories of you Pops will never end. Miss you forever.” Yvonne S. “…his laughter, his singing, the stomping of his feet epitomized the full of life spirit that he had. He would try to get me to make a mistake and not follow his lead correctly and we would both break out laughing like 2 little kids. I will always remember the bumps from behind while dancing at Carrie's, the popcorn sailing through the air to wake up a sleepy dancer, the total positive attitude that he always maintained.” Jane D. I remember Pops as always upbeat and energetic. He was always laughing and having fun. I thoroughly enjoyed his company.” Joe P. “Life sometimes needs a soundtrack…when the soundtrack called for a vocal; Pops was often more than accommodating, breaking out in song. It was often surprising, sometimes operatic, but always joyful! “ Frank T. “We will miss you…we love you…” 15 additional Friends
		Pops y Chola

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